To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
