The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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