I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
