I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize