well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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