Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
