so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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