You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
