I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
