How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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