Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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