oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
