ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
