Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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