hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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