at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize