You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
