My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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