ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
