there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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