I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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