Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
