hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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