11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
