So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
