You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
