the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
