dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
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We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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