So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
