it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
