if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
