Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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