Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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