I am puke
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
