shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize