i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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