I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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