My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
