Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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