U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
