Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
