I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
