If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
