Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
