i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
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