I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
