He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My balls are so social today.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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