i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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