The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Randomize
