I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so let's talk penis.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
