my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize