Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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