We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
