just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
