I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
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She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
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U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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