New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
