Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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