On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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