Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
