Me. At least after what I've been through.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
