My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
