Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
