I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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