it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
