So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
