i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
