Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
