he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
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Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
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in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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