I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
it's great music for shaving your balls
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
